[PANTING]
[WHIMPERING]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
♪ ♪
Come on!
Let's get this baby open like a can of tuna!
More like a tuna melt.
Oh, my legs!
My legs are stuck! Oh!
She's pinned under the steering column.
Get me the hydraulic ram now!
[GRUNTS]
It's too late. Just go.
You don't need to burn, too.
Hotshots don't get burned.
We just get a little toasted.
[WHIRRING]
Hang on to me.
I got you.
♪ ♪
[GRUNTING]
You're a hero.
[BRAD] No, I'm just
- doing my job. - [MOUTHING]
♪ ♪
[SNIFFLES]
- [WHOOPING] - Brad.
Yeah!
[GIGGLING]
So, what do you think?
Uh, that was very exciting, Brad.
I really liked the music.
The production value... it's off the charts.
Yeah, super cool.
- You hated it, didn't you? - What?
- No. - No one said that.
It's not supposed to be a documentary.
Yeah, real life is boring, and-and who wants that?
This-this was fun.
But as... professionals,
did anything bother you? Did anything ring...
false?
- Mm... - Uh...
w-well... and this is not a big deal...
usually, we would put out
an engine fire before attempting such a difficult extraction.
That was the network.
And also we wouldn't call it a hydraulic ram.
We just call it a spreader, and we get it.
That was the network, too.
They thought "spreader" was provocative.
I was just gonna say that you wouldn't be blabbing so much
- to the driver in the middle of a rescue. - Uh, "blabbing"?
What blabbing?
The speech at the end.
- Uh, "hotshots don't get burned." - [BRAD] Y...
You're saying we should get rid of the speech?
No, I'm just... In real life, uh, we wouldn't
be standing around yakking, we'd be getting her out.
I'm just saying, it seemed kind of, uh...
Extraneous.
Fake.
You said the F word.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
F is for "fun," like-like Buck said.
I think I need to pop to the loo.
It was a good show, Brad.
- Exceptional production value, Brad. - No, n...
It's my kid's favorite show.
[BRAD WHIMPERS SOFTLY]
Uh...
What?
- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -
[GRAHAM] Hello, justice fans.
Cart Cop here with a new edition of...
What do we have here?
Another shirker in the wild.
Ma'am? Ma'am?
Hi, I can't help but notice
you left your shopping cart out, uh, right there
- in the open. - So?
So, uh, there's a perfectly
good cart corral for these carts.
Carts go in the cart corral.
It's part of the social contract that we all share.
But instead of upholding said contract, you're choosing
- to shirk. - Did you call me a jerk?
No, not a jerk, ma'am. "Shirk."
You shirked your duty
vis-à-vis this cart.
They pay people to move the carts.
Uh, uh, who, him? 'Cause that gentlemen's
a senior citizen.
Possibly a veteran.
You-you'd have him clean up after your mess?
Do you work at this store?
Or are you police?
Cart Cop, ma'am.
I'm a concerned citizen.
I don't have time for this.
What the hell's that?
That's yours. It's a magnet.
For parking your cart like a shirker.
I am not a shirker.
Hey, uh, I have to warn you, ma'am.
That was nearly assault.
Don't you dare. Don't you dare.
Oh. There is going to be an assault if you keep putting
this crap on my car!
- Leave me alone. Leave me alone. - Uh, there is no need
- for profanity. - Go away.
[HONKS]
Hey, lady, this ain't a parking space.
- Yeah, I'm trying to leave! - Then leave!
This little douche is harassing me.
I'm not harassing her. I'm just shaming her.
She's refusing to return her cart to the cart corral.
Lady, just put the cart back.
It's, like, what... 20 feet?
Don't you "lady" me, baldy.
How about if I go through you?
Yeah, baldy.
- Try it. - [CRASH]
What are you, stupid?
How obvious can a car be?
Aw, geez.
_
[SHOUTING, CLAMORING]
Come on, back it up now. Move that car.
Lady, what the hell are you doing, huh?
- Are you blind or are you stupid? - Get back in your car.
- Back in your car. - [WOMAN] Don't touch me!
And you... do not make me use my nightstick.
- I am not playing with you. - [ARGUING CONTINUES]
Whoa! Whoa.
- [ARGUING, CLAMORING QUIETS] - LAPD.
- [SCATTERED CLAMORING] - [MAN] Come on!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, now.
You want to tell me why everyone's losing their damn minds?
It-It's this cart shark.
Cart Cop.
Cart pain in my ass.
This kid is always stirring up trouble.
I tried to boot him last month.
Then he reported me and I got suspended.
Well, it serves you right, persecuting a public servant.
Are you doing this for YouTube?
For justice. Moral decay starts in cart corral.
First they leave one in a parking spot,
then they leave one in a handicap walkway,
and the next thing you know we-we're belly-up in the abyss.
What are you talking about?
He vandalized my car with this.
[ATHENA] "I got cart narced"?
Ma'am, vandalism requires damage.
From what I can tell, that's a magnet.
Which you're welcome to take home as a keepsake.
- See, that right there... - Okay, sir, sir,
just keep your mouth shut.
See? He's harassing me.
He called me a-a shirker.
Okay, I don't know what that means,
but that is his first amendment right.
What about my rights?
He videotaped me
and he's gonna post it without my consent.
I don't need your consent.
Okay, it's a public place.
And it's legal in California.
Really? Well, let me rephrase this.
- If I find you, I'm gonna hurt you. - Whoa, whoa...
Okay, look, sir. Sir.
The more you go off,
- the more views he gets, so why don't - [DRIVER GROANS]
you just get back in your car?
- And you. - Yes?
Sir, clear the parking lot.
And, ma'am,
take this cart back
- to where it belongs. - Okay. Okay.
Let's move, let's move, get back in our cars.
You don't really want me to ta...
[SIGHS]
No problem, Officer.
All right, all right.
Okay, okay.
Go on, go on home.
Uh, hey.
Thanks for the backup.
It's good to meet a fellow crusader for justice.
Graham.
You are not a crusader.
You are a busybody.
You want my advice?
Stop all this "cop cart" nonsense
before you busy the wrong body.
- Son of a... - [GRAHAM] I told you.
It's belly-up in the abyss.
Hey, Chris.
Hi, Dad. What's up?
You got a minute?
I guess so.
Uh, you still watch that show Hotshots?
Yeah. Why?
Well, um, you'll never believe this,
but Brad Torrance...
the main guy from Hotshots...
been hanging out at the firehouse.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
He wants to learn how to be a firefighter.
Uh, anyway, I was thinking about getting him
to autograph something for you.
- For how much? - [CHUCKLES]
I'm pretty sure I can get it for free.
Me and him, we're... we're kind of friends.
- You could put it up in your room. - Cool.
You'll send it to me?
I meant...
your room here.
But, yeah, that's fine.
I'll, uh... Yeah, I'll-I'll send it.
[KNOCKING]
Okay. I got to go.
Grandpa's setting up the board.
- What board? - Chess board.
- You play chess now. - Grandpa taught me.
I'm in a chess club.
You are?
[EXHALES] That's...
that's great, Chris.
Nobody told me.
I have to practice.
I'm in a tournament on Saturday.
A tournament?
Well, then yeah, you should practice.
Okay, well, can you, uh, tell Abuelita
- to send pictures to m... - Bye, Dad.
Hey, Mom. According to my map, I'll be there in 20 minutes.
There's some construction on Wilshire.
Do you think we'll still make the previews?
Yes, we'll still make the previews.
Because I love the previews.
Ugh.
They must be working on the sewer lines. It stinks.
I'll see you there. Bye.
- [HONKING] - [GASPS]
Seriously, dude? Can't you see the signs?
I swear, the drivers in this town.
Oh, my God!
[SCREAMING]
[HONKING]
- [INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER] - [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
That doesn't look good.
That doesn't smell good, either.
Thar she blows!
Are you in charge here?
Henry Jennings, department of sanitation.
[BOBBY] What are we looking at here?
About 5,000 gallons of wastewater.
We were running pressure tests on the sewer lines.
Well, looks like they failed.
Went off like a bomb.
His car blew up. He's okay.
But cars started crashing everywhere.
I think there's still people trapped in that one,
pinned between two cars.
Buck, Eddie. Saws and jaws.
Black SUV between the copper and blue sedan.
- Let's go, let's go. - Yeah, Cap.
How far away is the nearest shutoff valve?
Half a mile away. Crews are working on it now,
but there's too much water coming through.
- Copy that. - Hey. Do I know you?
No, no. No, no. I've got one of those faces, mate.
Can't get through the doors.
Let's go in through the roof.
[SCREAMING]
Please help us! We're stuck! We're stuck!
- Buck, help me. - Yeah.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
All right, LAFD. We're gonna get you guys out.
We're gonna be okay.
I'm gonna bust the window.
You guys, shield your eyes.
[MUTTERING]
Can you climb out on your own?
My leg's caught. It hurts.
All right.
Cap, we're gonna need more hands.
[BOBBY] Copy that, Eddie.
- Bob. Bob, Bob? - Yeah. yeah?
Can I-can I come with?
- I-I'm good with the jaws. - I think it's best
if you stay back here for now and take notes.
All right. I-I'll wait in the wings then, yeah?
- [BOBBY] Yeah. - All right.
All right. Wait in the wings.
All right, grab my hand.
I'm not leaving her.
If you want me to help her, I need your seat.
Jake, you need to go.
Guys.
I'll see you soon.
I got you. Come on.
- Easy, easy. - Here.
Gonna try and move the wheel,
- okay? - Yeah.
- [GRUNTING] - [AUDREY CRIES OUT]
- Ow! - Okay. Okay.
All right, I'm gonna feel around.
It might hurt.
[SCREAMS]
- Eddie, how's it going? - [EDDIE] Not good.
She's got a laceration on her upper leg.
Bleeding pretty good.
[BOBBY] Okay. You find a way
to stop the bleed.
We'll find you a way out.
You got it.
Doors are all jammed, I tried 'em.
What do we do?
We can't drain it, we move it.
I'll get the tow rope.
- I'm going back up. - All right.
This is gonna hurt, okay?
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
- Ow. Ow. - Okay. All right.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Watch your foot.
[ENGINE STARTS]
- Tow rope secure. - [BOBBY] Okay.
Take the slack out, ease it back.
All right, give it a little more gas.
Come on, come on.
Be safe, Buck. Hang on.
Okay, keep it coming, keep it coming.
Hello.
[GRUNTS, PANTS]
Hello!
Hello! Unlock the door.
Hello!
Pull it back. Keep it coming, keep it coming.
Back, back.
[BRAD GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
Hello?
Hello? Wake up.
What happened?
Okay. Ho, ho, ho, ho.
[HEN PANTS]
- I'm sorry. - [GRUNTS]
Luckily it missed your femoral.
I think that we can cut it right off.
The wheel, not the leg.
[BRAD] Bob!
I got another one.
What is he doing?
Brad. She needs to be put on a gurney.
- Get a gurney in here. - [BRAD] Single car accident.
She was struck by the airbag. No signs of bleeding.
Possible internal injuries.
[HEN] Did you check her vitals?
No.
How about for any head injuries?
I got her out of the bloody car.
[CARRIE] Hey.
Are you Brad Torrance from Hotshots?
Yes. Yes I am, love.
[HEN] Let's go. Come on.
I knew I knew you.
You're the guy from that show!
- Actually... - Hey.
- Just... - It's Captain Banner, everyone!
- I'm just... - [BYSTANDER] Banner!
- It's not about me. - You're a hero.
- Uh... Just... excited. - [CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING]
- It's not about me. It's-it's... - [HENRY] Captain Banner!
[BRAD] It's not about...
It's... Okay.
[SHOUTS]
[CHIMNEY] Eau de sewer. Such a
- specific aroma. - Yeah, like sour milk
and old fish guts had a baby.
Isn't it glorious?
All right, listen up.
Get your turnouts off, put 'em in the rack.
Chim, Buck, you're on decontamination.
And everybody else,
start washing the rigs and hit the showers.
- Brad, a word please. - Yes, Bob. How can I help?
Ooh, I can get my PA to deliver scented candles.
You can listen carefully to what I'm about to say.
Yes.
What you did back there was reckless and stupid.
That-that woman was in danger.
She was trapped in the car. She needed my help.
And if she'd had a spinal injury
and you carried her around like that,
you could have paralyzed her.
Oh, right.
That's why we always put people in C collars
- before we move them. - Okay.
Good note. Good note.
But we tend to skip over these parts in the show
because they're a bit tedious.
It's because it's fake, Brad.
You're not a real firefighter.
And no matter what notes you put down in that
journal of yours, nothing is gonna change that. You
are an observer here.
You want something to do?
You can start by washing and waxing that bumper,
because until I say otherwise, that is where you will be
when we head out on every call. Understood?
Got it, Bob.
In this firehouse, it's Captain Nash.
Yes, Captain.
_
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
Ira came back here to hose out some carts,
and we found him like this.
Uh, these were stuffed in his mouth.
He busied the wrong buddy.
I can't find a pulse.
Help me pull him out from under here.
[SIREN WAILING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Sir, can you hear me?
We know what happened?
I think he got jumped.
I wasn't able to get a pulse.
Airway's clear. I'm not getting a pulse either.
Try a sternal rub.
His GoPro's missing.
Either of you see his camera?
No.
I need the footage from that security camera.
- There isn't any. - What do you mean?
Well, these cameras back here are on the fritz.
Guy's supposed to come this week to replace 'em.
What about the front of the store?
Those work.
Okay, I need whatever you do have.
[GASPING]
[CHIMNEY] Right pupil's reactive.
Let's get a C-collar on him.
What are you thinking, Hen?
I'm thinking we need to get him to an operating room
in the next ten minutes.
Follow me. I'll be your escort.
You think he's gonna wake up?
He better. He's the only witness.
[HEN] One, two, three.
[GRUNTS]
- [MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY] - [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Knock, knock.
Sergeant.
Graham.
This is Detective Romero.
He's gonna help out on your case.
The charger said you were okay to see visitors?
Y... You're the first.
Yeah. Come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
[SIGHS]
Does your family know you're here?
No. I...
I wouldn't want to worry them.
Also, they don't speak to me. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Not-not everyone's a justice fan, right?
Don't I know it.
You should just go ahead and say it.
Say what?
I told you so.
The Cart Cop got what was coming to him, right?
Whatever you said,
whoever you provoked,
you didn't deserve this.
Thank you.
Can you tell us what you remember?
It's all kind of
- fuzzy. - Well, just do your best.
I purchased rations at the market at 4:05p.m.
Energy drink and an energy bar.
And then I ate them in my vehicle
on the north end of the lot.
I proceeded to the southeastern corner.
That's usually where I find the most shirkers.
And-and then...
I woke up here.
[ATHENA] That's it?
You don't remember anything from the attack?
Well, no.
I got my head stomped.
Look. There-there... There's even a shoe print.
A... bootprint, actually.
Size nine. Still trying to identify the brand.
Is there anyone you can think of
who would want to do this to you?
Can I borrow your pen?
You making me a list?
No. A-A link.
To my YouTube channel.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - [GRUNTS]
That's some good chrome work, Brad.
Thank you for saying that, Edmundo.
No, I'm not just saying it.
You could use that thing as a vanity mirror.
Well, I reckon when it comes to vanity, I'm a natural.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY] - Hey.
Everybody on the team gets an earful from Cap sometimes.
It's part of the job.
I'm not on the team, am I?
I'm just an observer.
No.
What I really am is an imposter.
Come on, man, that's not true.
I'm 47 years old. I don't have one real thing in my life.
- Your show is real. - [CHUCKLES]
Hotshots?
It's a trifle with artificial sweetener.
That tastes delicious.
Uh, your show matters to people.
- Really? To whom? - To your millions of fans.
To... to my son, Christopher.
Who, uh, would love an autograph, by the way.
[CHUCKLES]
Aw. Why don't you bring him to the station?
Meet me in person?
I would, but he lives in Texas with his grandparents.
That must be hard.
Hardest three months of my life.
Feel like there's this gap
growing between us.
Every time I talk to him, he's this new person.
With a new friend.
New hobby.
- He's in the chess club now. - Oi.
Might have a new Bobby Fischer on your hands.
Yeah, we'll see.
I'm so proud of him.
Just wish I could be a part of the journey a little bit more, you know?
My son was nine when I left.
To test for a pilot for the CW.
It never went.
But I never did quite make it back to England.
He's all grown up now, he's studying to be a architect
and he's getting married in the spring.
That's great. Congratulations.
Still holding out hope for an invitation.
[SOFT CHUCKLE]
Edmundo.
Can I be so bold as to offer you some advice?
Yeah, of course.
Don't let that gap between you grow another inch.
[GRAHAM] Hello, justice fans.
Cart Cop here with a red-blooded,
all-American shirker.
Sir, sir, did you mean
to leave your cart out in the egress?
- You shirked your duty. - Get that camera out of my face.
- How about you cradle your cart? - How about I beat your ass?
[GRAHAM] You missed the corral. You left
- your cart... - Oh, I'm sorry, I'm on a call.
Stranded like Wilson the volleyball.
You little insignificant, small-minded twerp.
- Holy moly. - Okay.
[GRAHAM] There you go. Doing your bit for law and order.
- Was that so hard? - You drop dead, you little...
Oh, my God, we got a live one,
justice fans! Here we go! Oh, boy!
Excuse me, sir?
As a cart maintenance professional,
would you care to comment on the epidemic
- of shirkers? - Please don't film me.
- I don't like it. - [TYSON] Hey! Hey.
How many times I got to tell you?
Stop harassing people!
[ROMERO] What, you seeing something?
I think we bring 'em in.
- Bring who in? - All of 'em.
So, the other day
in the parking lot of Theo's Market,
you told me that you tried to have Graham Keye trespass,
but he complained and you got suspended.
Yeah. That's true.
Sounds like management didn't have your back.
No. They didn't.
Maybe that's because
you didn't just ask him to vacate the premises,
but you threatened to...
"crack his pointy skull"?
It's a little pointy.
[ROMERO] Do you often threaten people
with assault on a weekday morning?
I've never threatened anyone with assault.
[ATHENA] Are you sure?
Because we have you on camera telling Mr. Keye,
quote, "Oh, there's gonna be an assault."
That was, um, a figure of speech.
- "Beat your ass" was a figure of speech? - [MAN] Yep.
Sure was.
[WOMAN] Honestly, you think I'm really capable of that?
- You tell us. - [MAN 2] Well, I admit,
I have anger issues, but I went to counseling.
After I went viral.
[ATHENA] How many people besides yourself knew that the cameras
behind the store weren't working?
Well, the bag boys, they do whippets back there.
We call it the Bermuda Triangle.
You're the one who found him. You didn't see
- anyone else back there? - [IRA] Sorry, I...
I was focusing on the carts.
[SCOFFS] The damn carts.
Hey, I agree with the guy.
People need to put their carts back.
Why should I put my cart back?
No one else does.
Don't they pay folks to do that?
They pay Ira to do that.
[IRA] Well, actually, they pay me
to return the carts to the front of the store.
But technically, the customers are encouraged to cradle them
in the cart corral.
Do you own a pair of boots?
- Do Jimmy Choos count? - [MAN 2] It's fall.
Everyone wears boots.
They're part of my uniform.
Sir Digby's. Orthopedic joggers.
Special order from the U.K.
I recommend them if you're on your feet a lot.
It's like walking on air.
Those about a size nine?
- Twelve. - I'm an eight.
- Thirteen. - Six.
And a half.
Get a warrant.
_
♪ ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[EDDIE] What do we know about this guy?
[BOBBY] Well, the calls started rolling in about ten minutes ago.
Dispatch, I need LAPD and a crisis response team.
[DISPATCH] Copy that, Captain 118.
- Hen, Chim, have you landed yet? - Right below you, Cap.
All right, start deploying that bag.
Buck? Eddie?
Capture strap, let's go.
- On it. - Yeah.
[MAN] Hey. Uh...
Are you the guy...
No, no, I'm nobody, mate.
Yes, you are!
It's the... it's the Hotshots guy!
- No, I... - [SHRIEKING]
Can I get a selfie?
Hey, buddy. Want to do us a favor
and take a seat?
Maybe we can have a chat?
You know? What-what do you say?
I think I'll stay where I am.
And so should you.
We respect your space.
I'm Eddie.
That's Buck. What's your name?
- Craig. - Craig. Okay.
What's going on, man?
I just got laid off from work.
That's what's going on.
- [GRUNTS] - Whoa!
Chim, how's that bag coming?
Working on it, Cap.
All right, work faster.
I see that you have a wedding ring.
Guessing there's somebody at home waiting for you?
You'd guess wrong.
My wife left two months ago.
There's nobody at home but the TV.
Nobody cares about me.
That's not true. People care about you, Craig.
Oh, yeah? Who?
There's a whole crowd of people right there,
just pulling for you.
- Oh, yeah? - Hey!
They really look like they're at the edge of their s...
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey, is that... is that Brad Torrance?
Uh, you-you know who he is?
Of course I do.
He's Captain Race Banner.
I-I watch every episode of his show.
Hey, Cap.
Turns out our new friend
- is a Hotshots fan. - No kidding.
Hey! Everyone, please step away from the fire engine.
Please.
Step back from the engine now. Step back.
Sorry about that, Bob.
I mean, Capt-Captain. Cap, Cap.
- Brad. - Yeah?
I need your help.
My help?
Want to be a real hero?
Now's your chance.
Hey, lads, you mind if I join?
Uh, Craig, this is Brad.
Wow. It really is you.
I thought you'd be taller.
You're standing on a ledge.
That's true.
Craig here, he-he lost his job today.
And his wife.
Just one? I've lost five.
- Jobs? - Wives.
Not having much luck on the job department, either, mate.
Whoa.
What are you talking about? You're on a hit TV show.
Meaningless, disposable trash.
That... that is not true.
When my wife left me,
I binged the first three seasons.
You're my comfort, Captain.
Well, I appreciate that, son,
but you're gonna have to switch the channel.
Captain Race Banner is in a coma.
And what the suits at the network don't know yet is...
he's never waking up.
You're killing off Captain Banner?
Afraid so.
- Y-You can't. - Craig.
Why would you care? You're about to...
end it all.
- I'm considering it. - Great.
I say we join hands, go over together, eh?
Chim, Chim, Chim, Chim, Chim.
About 20 seconds more, Cap.
Do you realize how many people
would be devastated if you did that?
Two days on TMZ, tops.
Then they'd all forget about me.
You're wrong.
I know it seems dark right now,
but there's one thing I can tell you.
There's a spark inside each of us.
And if we just hold fast
and refuse to let that spark die...
[BOTH] it'll grow into a roaring flame
nobody will ever put out.
What's happening here?
Season two finale.
Captain Race Banner's speech on a runaway
nuclear sub.
You can't kill off Captain Banner.
He's what keeps
119 fire family together.
All right, Craig.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna promise you that Captain Race Banner
is gonna wake up from his coma on one condition.
What's that?
You get down from there,
return to terra firma.
You swear?
Captain's honor.
♪ ♪
Come on.
- [CROWD CHEERING] - I got you.
It's gonna be all right.
Hey, I got you.
Well, Brad Torrance,
you just saved a man's life.
How do you feel?
For once in my life, I feel like a real damn hero.
Thank you.
Oh!
Buck, Eddie, need a Lifepak.
Hmm.
That's nice.
Whoa, that's way too much for me to handle.
[KNOCKING]
Come in.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[SIGHS]
Buck, hey.
- What are you doing here? - I almost relapsed.
I almost called Tommy, so I baked every speck of flour
I had in the house, and I'm still jonesing for it.
Here, have a scone.
[SIGHS] Come on in.
I, uh, I figured I could make us
some snickerdoodles, if you had the stuff.
This is actually pretty good, Buck.
But seriously, what's your secret?
Well, I've been softening the butter
instead of melting it. It makes everything
- fluffier. - Hmm.
What was that?
What?
You flipped the tablet.
Did I?
What are you looking at, Eddie?
Oh, sorry. None of my business. Uh,
privacy of your own home, and I... I respect that.
But, ah, just a quick...
Oh. Homes.com.
You're-you're thinking about moving?
Starting to think about it, anyway.
They have, uh, in-depth neighborhood overviews.
Get a real feel for the area.
Nice, but where are you gonna find a place
like this in L.A. at your price point?
They're not in L.A., they're...
in El Paso.
Wait, are... are you serious?
I'm tired of missing out on all my son's big moments
before he grows up.
Wow. Uh...
so-so, when would this be happening?
I have this virtual appointment with a real estate agent
in a few minutes, get the ball rolling.
- Hence the button-down. - Hence the button-down.
Well...
we should move this party to the couch.
- We? - You're gonna need
a wingman. Some of these places are tragic.
I don't trust you to pick a nice one on your own.
[CHUCKLES]
Get you a cup of coffee.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Sergeant Grant.
You must be looking for Tyson.
Do you know where I might find him?
Oh, uh, probably on break.
I'll show you back there.
You all right?
Oh, still recovering from a hamstring pull.
It-it kicks up.
Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you,
these sneakers are clodhoppers,
but they're a godsend.
- Oh, yeah. I looked into them. - Uh-huh?
Yeah, had to do a little math
because they only come in U.K. sizes.
You said you wore a size eight, didn't you?
Which means that in the U.S.,
you would be a...
Size nine.
There were in his locker, just like you thought.
- I don't see a warrant. - [TYSON] Sorry,
old timer, those lockers are store property.
Mm. That looks like a match to me,
but we'll have forensics
confirm it. I think I see a little blood
- still in there. - [TYSON] Why'd you do it, old timer?
Huh? Didn't Cart Cop make your job easier?
No. He was stealing it.
Self-righteous weasel.
You know, if everybody cradled their cart,
you'd be out of business.
I had to put my foot down.
[ENGINES STARTS]
I... I don't understand.
Ira was such a sweet old man.
Except Ira wasn't Ira.
His real name is Maurice Smith.
Wanted for jumping parole in North Dakota five years ago.
Two-time convicted criminal.
For what, intent to distribute hard candy?
Felony assaults.
- Brutal ones. - Wow.
- What tipped you off? - You did.
Or your camera.
It was something about the way
he avoided it, like he just really didn't want to go viral.
Is he going back to prison?
For a long time.
Thanks to you.
People always tell me I'm wasting my time
with this Cart Cop thing, but...
it's not really about the carts.
It's about what the carts bring out in us.
I understand.
You and me, we both wished
that people would choose to do the right thing.
But you can't shame 'em into it.
Then they tend to double down.
So, how do you then
stop the moral decay?
By setting an example.
And I think you're ready to go pro.
You think I could be a real cop?
Baby, I say this
with all the love in the world.
No.
But...
there's a job opening at Field's Market.
I talked to the manager
and she said that as soon as you're back on your feet,
the job is yours.
No way.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Just promise me that you'll keep those carts corralled.
One, two.
Such a shame. Someone so talented,
- to end up like this. - Tragic.
Where am I?
[BUCK] Doctor, doctor, come quick.
What's all the commotion?
- He's awake. - [CHIMNEY] My God.
What happened to me?
You were hit by a bowling ball going 40 miles per hour.
Bowling alley...
There was an explosion.
It was orphan night.
From what we heard,
you saved every last one of those orphans.
You're a real hero, captain.
No,
I was just doing my job.
You know, we were this close to declaring you brain dead.
How did I wake up?
In my scientific opinion...
it's a miracle.
Good thing...
I'm in the miracles business.
- [MARCUS] And cut. - [BELL RINGS]
Beautiful job, everybody. Check it and we're wrapped.
- I-I need another, I need another. - Coffee, coffee.
- I want another one. - Brad, I just wanted to say one more time,
that the accent thing... it's uncanny. It's amazing.
- [BRAD] Thank you, Chuck. - Was that Brad? Was that Brad?
Brad. Brad, Brad,
was that too much? I feel like maybe I was too much on that line,
"It's a miracle."
You were perfect.
So? What do we think?
I think you look like you're back where you belong.
Thank you, but I meant about the scene.
What are your thoughts?
I loved it. No notes.
- Henrietta? - Uh, yeah.
It was... good.
There'll be music under it, right?
You hated it, didn't you?
Where did-where did I lose you?
No, you didn't. [WEAK CHUCKLE]
You were in a coma, right?
Well, when you opened your eyes,
it just looked like you were seeing pretty clearly.
In real life, it would take you
some time to adjust to the lights.
That's brilliant. Go on.
Well, and... you'd be hooked up to a ventilator
if they were gonna really declare you brain dead,
not a cannula.
This.
This is why I've been asking for a medical consultant for years!
Marcus?
Marcus. We're going again.
[MARCUS] Back to one. We're going again.
- Wait, we're going again? - It's a miracle.
It's a miracle.
- It's a miracle. - [BRAD] And somebody
bring me a bloody ventilator!
- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -